This week's guest blog is from Jess Nicks, a certified coach (and soon to be certified Feminist coach), NLP master and the creator of the Debitch Your Brain methodology. She’s on a mission to empower women to break free the unhelpful narratives of their inner critics. Here, she shares what the biggest business blocker is...
It’s your thoughts! They are your biggest issue. Your thoughts create your results in life and your business. Thinking with intention, creating Mental Fitness, has to be worked on, like physical fitness. It doesn’t just appear like Cindererall’s carriage; which is unfortunate as it would be rather wonderful to have a Fairy God Mother to sort all our shit out.
The good news is, you do have an inner Wise Warrior Women inside you, and she has immense powers of mental fitness at her disposal. Imagine if your thoughts didn’t cause unshakable doubt over your next move, Imposter Syndrome running rife, spreading like water through the cracks of doubt in your brain. The time you’d save! The energy you’d show up in, if your thoughts worked FOR you, not against you.
These unhelpful thoughts, pesky little blighters, are actually being broadcast to you from a radio station called BITCH FM; it’s got insanely high rankings with most women in the UK tuning in for nearly all their waking hours. You see, your internal dialogue, your inner critic, is actually a total bitch - to you- mostly all day long. You’re just very used to listening to her nonsense as she’s been there forever. My mission is to help other women to debitch their brains, for greater mental clarity and emotional freedom.
Neuroplasticity, as you may well know, is the brain’s ability to create new pathways (and thus, change!), while ‘debitching’ is the art of understanding how to deal with your internal monologue, your inner critic, so that you can transform self-doubt into self-mastery. Together, they make fireworks happen, and create massive change, not only in your business but in your relationship with your Self and others.
The software your brain currently runs on has been programmed deeply by society, culture and patriarchy - but you can upgrade your operating system to one that serves you. You can hack the system. You can take back control of what is yours and own your fucken show. You can step into your greatness without shame, guilt or fear. (And I bet right now reading that sentence you’re either cringing or thinking you wouldn’t be able to do that as you’re not enough - and that ladies, is your bitch talking). Turn BITCH FM off and let’s carry on shall we?
If you find yourself wasting time because of worry, or getting overwhelmed because of the noise in your head it’s time to work on your mental fitness and create some new neural pathways that make the walk of life easier.
‘Debitching’ is a colloquial term for Neuroplasticity; I haven’t had the bods are Harvard confirm this with me YET, but I’m fairly sure they would agree. Plus, adding humour to weighty topics makes them easier to digest. Giving your inner critic an identity that’s separate from you, puts a parking space between you and your inner Bitch, so she can’t take the wheel anymore.
To debitch your brain, means to tune out of an un-resourceful state and into a resourceful one. It means to shed, to change, to unearth, dig, to raise awareness. To assess, evaluate, get real, to switch up perspectives, to show self-compassion, to learn all about the real you, not the you that you believe you ‘should’ be. It involves integrity, healing, truth, discomfort, sometimes pain, sometimes laughter, always compassion. Meaning your work life gets substantially easier as you stop being a bitch to yourself and get out of your own damn way. And then of course, there’s the ripple effect which can be felt far away from the water cooler.
When you’re thinking in bitch mode you’re blocking your options, seeing in black and white, missing or misinterpreting essential information. A good dose of debitching is required in the modern world in order to care less what people think and get on with living.
If you want to feel more empowered in work, whether you’re in corporate or an entrepreneur, you have to be prepared to get mentally fit; say farewell to the cast of Bitches and welcome in your inner Wise Warrior Woman. In the same way an athlete trains to win the dreamed-of medal at the Winter Olympics, you have to train your MIND to compete in the epic game of YOU and your dreams. THIS IS MENTAL FITNESS. THIS IS YOUR MIND. OWN IT.